Let it go – mutually supportive partnerships: #blogjune 13

My other half dropped a pretty significant post yesterday.

I dropped a similarly significant post at the culmination of #blogjune 2011. In the years following, I invested considerable time and effort into my wellbeing. Lessons learnt in my own journey have allowed me to feel comfortable supporting Fi as she’s learnt how to better manage her anxiety during her pregnancy.

From my point of view, she’s performed admirably. She’s handled continual discomfort and pain of increasing intensity excellently. Whereas this would normally be a barrier to good mental self-care, she’s taken it as a challenge to be surmounted. Suffice to say, I’ve felt very proud of her diligence in applying lessons in managing anxiety.

Over the last week or so we’d been experiencing the benefits of two new medications – one to manage heartburn/reflux and one to manage high blood pressure. Fi’s symptoms on both fronts rapidly improved. A scary night’s stay in the hospital was followed by a relatively clean bill of health and a management plan. We had been a little worried about possible side-effects from the blood pressure medication, less so about Maxolon, the anti-nausea drug.

On Friday night I came home to a partner who was upset. That’s not unusual in late pregnancy. We usually find some together time helps. What was unusual was the night was a revolving door of worries one thing literally followed another – and then topics already talked through came up. It was clear to me Fi was in a bad way. She felt it was a result of her medication, which I agreed was likely, but we didn’t feel it was worse than the symptoms she had been experiencing.

The next day, Fi had her regular appointment to chat about her anxiety. The repeating panic attacks showed up again, to the degree where I was needed to transport her to the hospital for an investigation of the possibility of an immediate delivery on the basis that an early birth to a mother who could cope was better than an on-time one to a mother who was deeply unwell.

It turns out, disorientation and drowsiness are two very different things. Fi’s heartburn medication warned of the former, not the latter. A heightened need for sleep is a Godsend to a woman in late pregnancy. Having your head mucked with? Not so much. We were advised to immediately cease the heartburn medication, and given an alternate regime to follow.

Things are fine. Things are wonderful. While I stayed home today to monitor Fi’s wellbeing in the event a change in medication had an even more adverse effect, she has in fact blossomed. Thirty-six hours from the last dose and she’s herself again.

Me? I’m a wreck. I feel that I should have picked it and known how to help. So I’m here to call bull on myself. I couldn’t have known, but what I do know is that when the situation was made clear by appropriate medical staff, I offered Fi the best support I knew how to give. I was an advocate for her during her examination, and asked questions I’m sure the medical staff weren’t bothered with.

I remember a conversation we had in the middle of things. It had become clear that an immediate delivery wasn’t going to take place. This put Fi into extreme panic. I was able to reach out to her and tell her that whatever distress she found herself experiencing, I’d been there too, and I wasn’t afraid.

Today we have supported each other very nicely. I’ve had my own high-anxiety day – a post-emergency crash, if you like.,Fi’s been wonderful to me.

I’m not perfect. I couldn’t tell the difference between just-a-bad-day and we-need-to-act-and fast. But we got through it together. Tomorrow is, as they say, another day.

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About seanmurgatroyd
Library (Shared blog): http://diligentroom.wordpress.com/ Personal including infoculture, book reviews: http://diligentroom.wordpress.com/ Music: http://seanfishmusic.wordpress.com/ Last.fm band page: http://www.last.fm/music/Seanfish @seanfish

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