I keep a pool of words in my head.

Some float up to the top at night, and I read who lied.

Nobody lied today.


Written prior to waking

I woke early this morning. I have read friends’ blogs and noted that it is #blogjune so am showing support by giving them more to read.

I’m smiling at that last joke. I sometimes think that my humour and love of wordplay was somehow developed by my solitary nature – that I had to come up with ideas that amused me even though I came up with them.

I believe words have power, too – another reason I joke. I’m learning lately how to be more clear when I am serious. Some use the “safe” channel of shared humour to deliver hidden barbs and set downs. A clear categorical denial is a wondrous thing.

These are my thoughts pre rising. I ponder language and myself, and rehearse social strategies. Not much has changed about me.

The Insomnia Chronicles: Tempered

Distillation is a simple process, yet hard to get entirely right. In the creation of an essence, a purer, finer thing, little imbalances can cause a souring. A little too much heat and a burnt, bitter flavour comes creeping in.

So it was in the family I grew up in. My brother and I were both driven to excel – each of us in differing areas of music, he in sport and myself academically. My childhood was in many ways a vast sequence of delight, constantly being given the tools to discover and explore new knowledge.

Then there’s that heat. I’m not going to play the blame game – I love my parents and I know the wanted, and tried the best. But oh, those distilled essences. Add a little too much C2H6OH to the equation to the point where social lubrication exceeds its capacity and turns to social friction, and the finely tuned learning experiments went a little awry. Both my brother and I are extremely bitter and generously tempered when in negative spaces. His sporting orientation tends to produce physical responses complimentary to my intellectualising. Suffice to say that he and I both have to work on our anger, in differing ways.

Wikipedia brings great news to the afflicted:

 Tempering creates balanced internal stresses which cause the glass, when broken, to crumble into small granular chunks instead of splintering into jagged shards. The granular chunks are less likely to cause injury.

Good night, and good morning.